tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32373902011-09-01T08:27:22.857-04:00Everyone has different tastes, and everyone tastes different to a cannibal.Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.comBlogger1451100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1152732813762033092006-07-12T15:23:00.000-04:002006-07-12T15:33:33.816-04:00

This has nothing at all to do with fudge. Well, not in the spiritual sense. That trance-like state of fudge induced trancism... that is not what I am referring to. Nope, this has nothing to do with fudge. Midgets melting in the 116 degree Arizona sun, now THAT'S blogworthy. Poor lil' guys.. waddling along minding their own midgety business, and then suddenly they are puddles on the sidewalk. Then

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1131571248683951312005-11-09T16:18:00.000-05:002005-11-09T16:20:48.693-05:00

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1131490469140206472005-11-08T17:53:00.000-05:002005-11-08T17:54:29.150-05:00

Is selling the neighborhood children tickets to watch midgets sodomize your dog still considered a social faux pas? What about selling the children to the midgets?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1113862059487959392005-04-18T18:05:00.000-04:002005-04-18T18:07:39.486-04:00

If you ever doubt your sanity, just remind yourself that the lil bastards in the white coats have not caught you yet. So you must be doing SOMETHING right. Of course, they could also be so COMPLETELY baffled by you doing everything astronomically gastrointestinally supercalafragalistically wrong that they were taken away themselves. Or Mary Poppins may have tucked them in her bag with Jimmy

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1113861906224554642005-04-18T18:04:00.000-04:002005-04-18T18:05:06.223-04:00

I would want my Chinese name to be Faq Yu.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1113861835641559332005-04-18T18:02:00.000-04:002005-04-18T18:03:55.640-04:00

We have all watched Mr. Rogers. We have all witnessed the puppet that was King Friday. And we have all asked ourselves why he did not order someone to construct him some legs.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1113861731958641652005-04-18T18:00:00.000-04:002005-04-18T18:02:11.956-04:00

Say you're walking along the road. And a man appraoches you. He asks you what the time is. You kick him in the nuts and gleefully exclaim that it is Nut Kicking time. He crawls away.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1113278650432821592005-04-11T23:50:00.000-04:002005-04-12T00:12:10.280-04:00

No matter how hard you try to save someone you love, it can all come to nothing if they do not love themselves. Give all that you have until you lose who you are and become a ruined shadow of yourself, it shall be a meaningless sacrifice to one who cares nothing for the damage they do to themselves and those around them. The White Knight fails to rescue the fair maiden, and is helpless to do

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1113277801224460022005-04-11T23:44:00.000-04:002005-04-12T00:10:16.176-04:00

Sometimes we are poets, painting the landscapes of our hearts with words and phrases. Sometimes we are artists, using pigment and structure to share the visions of our hearts and minds. And sometimes we are caregivers, using the power of empathy to convey comfort and love unto others with a gentle touch, a warm embrace, a friendly smile.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1113277454174042722005-04-11T23:42:00.000-04:002005-04-11T23:44:14.176-04:00

You pee in a cup. You then pass it to the person on your left. That person in turn dumps it on his head. As the yellow river flows down through the peaks and valleys of his head, you suddenly wonder what in the hell you are writing.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1108099738495633162005-02-11T00:28:00.000-05:002005-02-11T00:28:58.496-05:00

And so FINALLY it is time to throw wide the gates of Fluffydom and let loose the snuggly wuggly bunnies of doom!!!!!!

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1102692459844737992004-12-10T10:22:00.000-05:002004-12-10T10:27:39.843-05:00

Today is my birthday, and I am 36. That is a falsity though. For in fact, my birth day was 36 years ago. So in truth, this is the anniversary of my birth day, much like Christmas is for Christ, only I have fewer followers. So really, it's an anniversary. Like the sinking of the Titanic. Only without the water and thus, not so wet. Hold on... it's raining! Ok then, so like the screaming masses

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1068730023359648322003-11-13T08:27:00.000-05:002003-11-13T08:27:21.966-05:00

How would you stop oatmeal if it went terribly wrong?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1068729924590363752003-11-13T08:25:00.000-05:002003-11-13T08:25:43.200-05:00

I suspect that one of the cats, the male grey tabby Willow, has but half a broken Tic Tac for a brain. Today the winds will gust to 60 miles an hour... if I hold him outside, with a pile of Tic Tacs in my hand... will the wind drive them into his ears and increase his cerebral functionality, or will it simply remove the broken pieces remaining, rendering him the Vegecat that I suspect he truly is

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1068261122525292772003-11-07T22:12:00.000-05:002003-11-07T22:12:00.616-05:00

Ok, so you know Kool-Aid, the large pitcher man who comes crashing through walls and doors? Well here's my question. If you are at home, and you say "Hey Kool-Aid" and he comes crashing through the wall, does this then make him a home intruder? Are you then free to assault him with a straw and drink him dry, effectively killing him as an intruder? Would the police prosecute for that? And would

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1064354163140312832003-09-23T17:56:00.000-04:002003-09-23T17:56:03.336-04:00

Tofu: Why? WHY??? WHY??? WHY?????

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1063324691446899192003-09-11T19:58:00.000-04:002003-09-11T19:58:11.346-04:00

What's the difference between boiled and hard boiled? Boiled is when they just cook you, hard boiled is when they run you over with a car and beat you with a stick first.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1063324530032069572003-09-11T19:55:00.000-04:002003-09-11T19:55:29.930-04:00

Ok, so Geralyn bought a little ilegal Canal Street turtle, which she has named Virgil the Virgo Birthday Turtle. Say that ten times fast! It's kind of cute, and about the size of a quarter, so naturally I decided to use it to empower my next attempt at raising Jolly Foofur. This time, Virgil was placed upon the altar (when sweetie was not home obviously) so that I could draw out his life force

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1063058886018341922003-09-08T18:08:00.000-04:002003-09-08T18:08:06.066-04:00

I keep wondering if duct taping live turtles to my ceiling would make interesting decor.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1063058727233955032003-09-08T18:05:00.000-04:002003-09-08T18:05:27.276-04:00

You know that dream you have.. where the world is perfect, and everyone is happy and peaceful, and there are flowers, and hare krishnas, and people holding hands and being joyful? Man I hate that!! Give me the willies!

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1062542037309397222003-09-02T18:33:00.000-04:002003-09-02T18:33:57.266-04:00

I'm an absentee brainlord.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1062279748991889652003-08-30T17:42:00.000-04:002003-08-30T17:42:29.040-04:00

Sherbert drips with honeycomb sweetness.. until it hits a frying pan. Then it screams in agony.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1062206902186112882003-08-29T21:28:00.000-04:002003-08-29T21:28:22.233-04:00

Well I am the French guard. Many of you will find this a bit shocking. I thought for sure I would be a coconut. You are the French Guard. Slightly off, living in an area you really don'tbelong in, you lie and taunt those around you.From all the cruel memories of your childhood,you decide to take revenge on cute furry farmanimals. They make good cannonballs. Ppffftt! What Monty Python Holy

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1062200094317740922003-08-29T19:34:00.000-04:002003-08-29T19:34:54.450-04:00

Smurfs ... the other blue meat.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1062198243458382322003-08-29T19:04:00.000-04:002003-08-29T19:04:03.463-04:00

We have a dead squirrel-that-isn't in the house. Well, we have a dead squirrel's skin. A plaything for the cats we boought at Pennsic, from a shop called Spotted Pony Traders, known to everyone at Pennsic as All Things Dead, for they specialize in pelts. So the skin is basically a red squirrel pelt sewn back into the shape of a squirrel. Willow, the male cat, loves it. Makes him feel ferral, and

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1062197744878342182003-08-29T18:55:00.000-04:002003-08-29T18:55:44.793-04:00

There is a carnival in the South Shore mall. Too bad it's not Mr. Dark's carnival from Somthing Wicked This Way Comes. Warping people, chasing down kids... reaping souls... man, that would be fun! I'd be the first one on line! ;)

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1062197613518464452003-08-29T18:53:00.000-04:002003-08-29T18:53:33.430-04:00

You know whats funny? A pie in the face... from 13,000 feet. :)

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1062197555626316732003-08-29T18:52:00.000-04:002003-08-29T18:52:35.546-04:00

Giggleboo

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061871780717035642003-08-26T00:23:00.000-04:002003-08-26T00:23:00.733-04:00

If I had 20 fingers, I would have 4 arms. That's a lot of sleeves.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061871702990842562003-08-26T00:21:00.001-04:002003-08-26T00:21:43.006-04:00

I hate cauliflower. It just sucks to all hell.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061871663998992532003-08-26T00:21:00.000-04:002003-08-26T00:21:04.030-04:00

Why cannot life be more like Unreal Tournament 2003? Why can we not simply run through the streets blowing the Bejesus out of all of the stupid people? I suppose stupid would become a selective term. The person who unwittingly parks in your spot may in fact be a genius, but in your eyes they are stupid, and therefore subject to having a rocket launcher inserted into their rectum. Rectum?! He

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061672146110591612003-08-23T16:55:00.000-04:002003-08-23T16:55:45.983-04:00

Ahhhhh.. the time has come for all of us to be social once again. To that end, I have dusted off Talisman (remember that?), Risk, Heroquest, and Star Wars Monopoly. And of course, there are always the Magic cards. So let me know if anyone is interested in doing some gaming in which we can actually include our significant others. I may even pick up Uno, as that is always a good F.U. game.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061521663106259972003-08-21T23:07:00.000-04:002003-08-21T23:07:43.156-04:00

"If I had a hammer... I'd hammer in the morining.." blah blah blah. If I had a hammer, I would run the the city smacking mimes in their big stupid heads. Because if a mime falls in the city, can anyone hear him?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061521482290076252003-08-21T23:04:00.000-04:002003-08-21T23:04:42.363-04:00

In some South American or Latin American country, they take soft dough, press it onto live bugs, roll it up and eat it. It's called a delicacy. Who in the fuck came up with that???!!!

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061521354742265442003-08-21T23:02:00.000-04:002003-08-21T23:02:34.766-04:00

It's 11:00 PM, do you know where your left pinky is?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061521303020797732003-08-21T23:01:00.000-04:002003-08-21T23:01:43.040-04:00

Al, that really sucks about your car. Hopefully they will be able to fix it quickly. And to deliver a spinal enema to the driver that hit you.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061521097616226142003-08-21T22:58:00.000-04:002003-08-21T22:58:17.633-04:00

Sometimes I sit. Sometimes I stand. Sometimes I place a chainsaw in my hand. Sometimes I run. Sometimes I walk. Sometimes I take my chainsaw for a stalk. Sometimes I say yes. Sometimes I say no. Sometimes I cleave televangelists from head to toe. Sometimes I'm fast. Sometimes I'm slow. Sometimes I laugh when they scream "Oh god.. please... no!!!"

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061520455467766642003-08-21T22:47:00.001-04:002003-08-21T22:47:35.503-04:00

Does anyone have Roe's email address by the way?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061520429000432062003-08-21T22:47:00.000-04:002003-08-21T22:47:09.156-04:00

I am 34, slowly approaching 35. And still I have not conquered the world. Nameless people living in hovels do not fear me. Billion dollar corporations are not tripping over one another to kiss my left buttock. The mass executions have not begun. Jehovah's Witnesses still sell pamphlets. People still buy them (why? WHY??!!!). And I am not typing this while sitting upon a throne made of the bones

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061426370424752642003-08-20T20:39:00.000-04:002003-08-20T20:39:30.396-04:00

By the way, congradulations to Paul and Brenda on the little pooper. I am as always in awe of those who choose to undertake parenthood. Personally, I think my children would either spend all day running head first into walls or plotting to rule the house. In which case I would either invest in helets or electric cattle prods. But that's just me.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061426177909351652003-08-20T20:36:00.000-04:002003-08-20T20:36:17.913-04:00

I think that I shall never see, a thing so lovely as a bee. A bee stinging a jerky guy, right in the middle of his freakin eye. :)

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061425973069295442003-08-20T20:32:00.000-04:002003-08-20T20:32:53.083-04:00

There are tall men and small men, fat men and skinny men, low men and hymen... and still toe cheese tastes terrible on crackers.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1061425823823310622003-08-20T20:30:00.000-04:002003-08-20T20:30:23.843-04:00

My goodness, I go away for a week and the whole world turns upside down! The East coast powers down, and Paul and Brenda make a Mini-Smith! Imagine if I had gone for 2 weeks! Aliens would have made contact and Reagan would have found his marbles! Newsflash.. Reagan finds marbles! "Wouldn't ya know it," quipped the former President, "they were behind the couch."

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1060050401131115312003-08-04T22:26:00.000-04:002003-08-04T22:26:41.160-04:00

I saw two very pretty Japanese lesbians the other day in Genovese. I didn't think they came that way, but god bless em!

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1060049997333082342003-08-04T22:19:00.000-04:002003-08-04T22:19:57.376-04:00

My Homies are in disarray. Geralyn and I found a gumball machine at White Castle, and more recently at King Kullen as well, that dispenses little plastic Homies. Yes, Homies. Chicano gang members in all of their glory! Today they are all out of place. I think the tyrannosuarus must scare them.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1060049737774478102003-08-04T22:15:00.000-04:002003-08-04T22:15:37.836-04:00

My grandfather died 2 weeks ago, at the righteous age of 95. He wsas a very kind and caring man, with a wonderful sense of humor. He loved trains, and had a tremendous set-up in his basement. During the wake I placed a small train in his hand, so he could play with it in heaven. Didnt mean to bring anyone down, just thinking about my grandpa. I love him and hope he is happy.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1060049184855919892003-08-04T22:06:00.000-04:002003-08-04T22:06:24.910-04:00

The other day Geralyn and I were standing in line at the deli counter of King Kullen. I picked up a package of grapes and began violently shaking them at her and growling, and declared them to be the grapes of wrath. A few minutes later we passed a young boy who plopped himself on the floor in front of a Hostess display and growled. His mother very casually explained that he was autistic. I

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1060048726870061852003-08-04T21:58:00.000-04:002003-08-04T21:58:46.916-04:00

Who is hunting and trapping all the gummy bears sold in stores?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1060048667441164912003-08-04T21:57:00.000-04:002003-08-04T21:57:47.550-04:00

Here's a thought.. if the average family has 1.5 children... is the .5 child where midgets come from?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1060048511559704252003-08-04T21:55:00.000-04:002003-08-04T21:55:11.650-04:00

So today's drymidity was 0%. On a day like today, we should all be wearing Dunesque stillsuits. Of course, if they were truly STILLsuits, we wouldn't be able to move in them. Which takes my mind to those motion watches, which supposedly run or wind from the movement of your body. What a witty gag gift for the parapallegics!

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1060000431441578322003-08-04T08:33:00.000-04:002003-08-04T08:33:51.400-04:00

Good morning oh ignorant wretches! Here is something to contemplate today as you hang upon the Tree of Woe: What if the nine rings for mortal men had gone to Smurfs instead? Picture a 2 inch Ringwraith trying to stab Frodo in the heart wiht a Morgul blade... via his big toe...

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-1059806146782616012003-08-02T02:35:00.000-04:002003-08-02T02:35:46.740-04:00

Ok, so lets see if THIS one makes it in. Blogger has not published any of my ramblings for quite some time, so naturally I said "Frell you you goat loving cheese dipping quart of a tit mouse's fecal juices!" and moved on to bigger and better.. like licking Crayons. Mmmm fuscia.. yummy! So now i'm going to try to publish thi test blog. If it works, then wank off you Blogger Gods who have denied

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-860083782002-12-14T19:01:00.000-05:002003-08-02T02:26:47.893-04:00

Jumping to your death from a building. Suicide, or performance art?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-860083402002-12-14T19:00:00.000-05:002003-08-02T02:26:53.126-04:00

So now I am 34. I look back at my life, and I wonder why I have never gone beserk with a chainsaw in a shopping mall. I think I had that planned for 27, but then I moved in with Dave, and was paying half the rent. So it would not have been cool to go to jail. Now I live with Geralyn and pay half the rent. And although she is subjected to my.. well, what she calls "Wierdness", 24 hours a day,

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-860082062002-12-14T18:55:00.000-05:002003-08-02T02:27:01.753-04:00

Have you ever lost your desire to kill guys named Melvin?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-860081292002-12-14T18:53:00.000-05:002003-08-02T02:27:13.973-04:00

Wow, I cannot believe that Frank has not harrassed me for not Blogging in the past 3 and a half months. Wow, I cannot belive that yams taste so incredibly AWFUL! Who'da thunk it? It looks like a fucked up orange potato. And potatos are good. But yams are bad. So are yams then the evil twin brothers of potatos? Like, for every potato, there is an evil twin of a yam screwing with the universe?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-828109622002-10-10T17:55:00.000-04:002003-08-02T02:27:22.273-04:00

Nuclear holocaust is today's topic du jour. Actually, it SHOULD be the vicious alien menace that CAUSED the nuclear holocaust. Allow me to explain. Recently I have been playing with SimCity 3000. Why? To help curb my desire to rule everything with an Iron hand. A waffle iron hand! But I digest. I am in the midst of a city I call Sweethaven, in tribute to Popeye the movie. Having begun in 1900,

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-828106102002-10-10T17:45:00.000-04:002002-10-10T17:45:26.763-04:00

Wow, did I really not write during the month of September? Oh well, such is life. Except for lima beans. I loathe lima beans. To this end, while I( was at War this year, I purchased a hand crossbow. A simple little contraption this, no fancy shmancy thing-a-majig. But it WORKS! Especially with frozen lima beans, which I have since condemed to many many aerial deaths! They shoot pretty far, but

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-809237282002-08-30T13:06:00.000-04:002002-08-30T13:06:09.196-04:00

Shells are so cool. Not only they are they hard and colorful, but they sometimes come with a tasty critter suprise! Mmmmm... critters.....

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-809236522002-08-30T13:04:00.000-04:002002-08-30T13:04:15.850-04:00

If you were an ant, then a puddle on the side of the road would seem like a lake. You and al of your ant buddies could go out and do watersports, hold picnics on the shore, and have a grand old time. Until a car drove through the puddle, killing half the colony. Boy it sucks to be an ant.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-805950242002-08-22T22:03:00.000-04:002002-08-22T22:03:00.370-04:00

Why do sardines live in those little cans?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-805948222002-08-22T21:58:00.000-04:002002-08-22T21:58:01.333-04:00

I would laugh out loud, but the plants might see it as a sign of hope. Damn them... damn them all!!!

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-805947572002-08-22T21:56:00.000-04:002002-08-22T21:56:36.410-04:00

The potatoes have eyes. They are always watching....

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-805945922002-08-22T21:52:00.000-04:002002-08-22T21:52:02.796-04:00

Contraceptives must feel so used.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-805945292002-08-22T21:50:00.000-04:002002-08-22T21:50:29.323-04:00

I bought a hand crossbow at War. Little wooden contraption. But man does it shoot lima beans far!!! My neighbors must be puzzling over where they keep coming from. I like to think of them as lima beans from heaven. And couldn't we all use some lima beans from heaven?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-805940502002-08-22T21:38:00.000-04:002002-08-22T21:38:56.826-04:00

Why don't irrational people disappear in a puff of logic when faced with rationality?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-804360182002-08-19T13:27:00.000-04:002002-08-19T13:27:16.766-04:00

What is the definition of stupidity? Strapping on fencing armor, and fencing, in 100 degree weather. That would be me and my fello fencers this past week at the Pennsic War. Ugh. Anyway, I have returned unscathed, and the heat can kiss my ass.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-800337692002-08-09T13:22:00.000-04:002002-08-09T13:22:31.590-04:00

The discovery channel brings us the world. We have all seen the natives in Africa with the big plates through their lips. How funny would it be to replace them with drum symbols? Or miniature gongs?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-800335642002-08-09T13:17:00.000-04:002002-08-09T13:17:22.253-04:00

Sometimes it rains, sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes midgets just pour from the skies, making a bloody mess. Damn midgets!

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-800331402002-08-09T13:07:00.000-04:002002-08-09T13:07:11.850-04:00

I wonder who was the first French guy to say" Sacre bleu!! Zat snail, she vood be zo yummy in zauce!! What a freakin' weirdo HE must have been!

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-797095972002-08-01T19:44:00.000-04:002002-08-01T19:44:14.926-04:00

My toes have little hairs on them. When I line them up, they are like 10 little bald men, all in a row.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-797095032002-08-01T19:41:00.000-04:002002-08-01T19:41:21.596-04:00

Apparently I have been far too generous in my watering. The plants are flourishing. This cannot be allowed. Growth implies hope. Hope implies desire. Their desires should be to please and worship me alone. None of this having thoughts of growing, and drinking, and being merry. Merry, a hobbit. Also spelled midget. Where are my shoes?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-797093682002-08-01T19:36:00.000-04:002002-08-01T19:36:42.700-04:00

Sometimes sausages are round. But sometimes... oh sometimes... they are flat. Beware the sausages!

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-797093462002-08-01T19:35:00.000-04:002002-08-01T19:35:50.120-04:00

It's August. Midgets hide in closets, so watch your shoes.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-786070712002-07-06T00:45:00.000-04:002002-07-06T00:45:47.710-04:00

It's July and children are melting in the streets... please remember to carry a sponge.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-784893862002-07-02T22:31:00.000-04:002002-07-02T22:31:57.253-04:00

Oatmeal is the Devil's adhesive!!!!

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-784893382002-07-02T22:30:00.000-04:002002-07-02T22:30:22.596-04:00

The closer we look at things, the nearer they are to our noses.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-784890522002-07-02T22:22:00.000-04:002002-07-02T22:22:17.420-04:00

Destiny is the big fist Fate shoves up your ass whenever he is bored.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-781061102002-06-23T17:24:00.000-04:002002-06-23T17:24:54.073-04:00

You ever find yourself watching Pearl Harbor.. looking at the high caliber guns on the ships, and wonder just how many midgets you could stuff in and fire out of one of those things?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-781060772002-06-23T17:23:00.000-04:002002-06-23T17:23:15.840-04:00

Friday I donated money to kids with cancer. Why not? I like kids. I like cancer. I like kids WITH cancer! They are such an inspiration! Bless their bald little heads.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-776603862002-06-12T13:23:00.000-04:002002-06-12T13:23:24.513-04:00

What sick, demented, manica, was the first to stick a snail in his mouth and say "Hey, that's quite tasty!"??

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-776603282002-06-12T13:21:00.000-04:002002-06-12T13:21:56.576-04:00

I have found that I have developed an aversion to things I have an aversion to.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-776602872002-06-12T13:20:00.001-04:002002-06-12T13:20:56.606-04:00

Paul McCartny's new wife only has one leg. Couldn't he afford a wife with two legs?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-776602392002-06-12T13:20:00.000-04:002002-06-12T13:20:05.403-04:00

Sometimes we eat the oatmeal, sometimes the oatmeal eats us.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-775713372002-06-10T13:13:00.000-04:002002-06-10T13:13:21.720-04:00

If aliens visited the Earth, would they need green cards?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-775713212002-06-10T13:12:00.001-04:002002-06-10T13:12:57.420-04:00

Mice have noses, feet have toeses, and if I could crush a buttload of Egyptians under the sea I'd be like Moses.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-775712912002-06-10T13:12:00.000-04:002002-06-10T13:12:08.280-04:00

What is up with non-alcoholic beer? Now, I don't drink.. never have, never will. This may come as a shock to some of you. But even I am mystified by this concept. What's next, non-chocolate chocolate milk?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-775712482002-06-10T13:10:00.001-04:002002-06-10T13:10:54.030-04:00

Frogs have watertight asses. But really, aren't all of our asses watertight?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-775712262002-06-10T13:10:00.000-04:002002-06-10T13:10:18.653-04:00

I look at this page sometimes and think I should spruce it up, add a few links, things like that. But that would please the oatmeal, and I will die before I do so!!

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-775041902002-06-08T13:44:00.000-04:002002-06-08T13:44:10.186-04:00

The smaller cactus attempted to commit suicide today, his second attempt. Ahh the young, the have no tolerance for suffering. Spoiled, that's what they are! If they don't like something, they declare it unfair. If they REALLY don't like something, and are feeling particularly pissy, and spiteful, they commit suicide. Sigh. Well apparently the younger cactus is feeling particularly pissy and

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-773368952002-06-04T13:12:00.000-04:002002-06-04T13:12:29.040-04:00

I was watching a show on Discovery the other, the top 10 mysteries. One of which was Miracles. A skeptic had asked why God does not perform miracles where they are really needed, like Ethiopa, etc. I think this man fails to realize one basic thing about God: God is a showman. Think about it. Look at Exodus... The burning bush.. the column of fire.. the plagues... God likes to do things BIG, and

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-773366632002-06-04T13:06:00.000-04:002002-06-04T13:06:18.096-04:00

How does Darth Vader go to the bathroom?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-773366342002-06-04T13:05:00.000-04:002002-06-04T13:05:39.080-04:00

Is the Oatmeal still screaming Clarice?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-768468892002-05-22T13:23:00.000-04:002002-05-22T13:23:21.623-04:00

So does Chewbacca go to a barber or a dog groomer? And if the groomer, does he leave with a pretty red ribbon?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-768468032002-05-22T13:20:00.000-04:002002-05-22T13:20:47.010-04:00

Under the heading of Strange Arena Matches, I would like to submit the following challengers: jello and pudding. This, I think, would be a most interesting match. Jello, possibly the favored to win, brings a formidable set of attrributes. Both a solid and a liquid, it can take quite a bit of punishment, while delivering powerfully solid bows. Brawny, solid, and strong, jello is a true gladiator.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-768464722002-05-22T13:10:00.000-04:002002-05-22T13:10:55.393-04:00

Does mud scream when you bake it in the sun?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-767629962002-05-20T13:22:00.000-04:002002-05-20T13:22:48.916-04:00

Fuck cauliflower

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-767629282002-05-20T13:20:00.000-04:002002-05-20T13:20:59.230-04:00

I like alligators. they look cool, and they eat people. What more could you want in a pet?

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-767628672002-05-20T13:19:00.000-04:002002-05-20T13:19:21.226-04:00

I believe we should have a "Decrease the Surplus Population Day", where we all gather in packs and run rampant in the streets with flame throwers burning down all we come across. There could be checkpoints with feul refill station and kill counts. Oh, and plenty of aloe.

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3237390.post-767626822002-05-20T13:14:00.000-04:002002-05-20T13:14:27.600-04:00

Here are some jobs I would never like to have... fungus harvester... atomic deathray test subject... urine sample tester... leper massager... spiny sea urchin handler... tornado windspeed tester... CPR dummy... African honeybee pheromone tester...

Ebony Voidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12340491720023497788noreply@blogger.com0